Comedy Sketches…

Okay, SO, I havent updated this blog in quite some time simply becasue number 1: I forgot the pasword and was being VERY lazy and didnt want to find it out and number 2: The break from university have been TOO RELAXING!!

But yeah, back to wiz-oorrrkkkk!!

Couple months ago I said that a friend of mine was starting his own Youtube comedy channel (CosICanTV, holla holla) and I posted like ONE video…WELL!! DONT CRY! THERE ARE MORE!!

They’ll all be at the end of this post in….urm…chronological (if thats the right word) order so basically, enjoy, comment and share y’all 😀

Diary Of A Mixed Race Man…its a hard life…

I’ve Got My Headphones In!!

Black People On Ice…it aint fun.

You’re Holding You’re Gun Wrong!!! Ep.1



This Is How You Get Girls……………………….apparently…

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Interview With ICEY Stanley of @UrbanFreshMusic…


Icey Stanley is an associate member of the collective Urban Fresh who are based in Coventry. At nearly 20 years old he is set to burst in the music scene with an array of fresh urban tunes for us to enjoy.

Urban Fresh Music Group is a ‘awkward collective’ all supporting each others ambitions to make it in the music industry. Their music has many different aspects, from alternative to rap and Stanley revealed they wouldn’t be shy to embrace some indie now and again, which would open them up to a new world of audience for sure!


Their most recent release is a Harlem Shake Freestyle by a member named Afro Josh (he has an afro) which uses the most recent craze of the Harlem Shake beat and mixes his own fresh freestyle on top of the beat.

Stanley told me how he wanted to work on his ‘backup’ plan first, taking a Computer Science course at Birmingham City University and doing his music on the side, which some may say is a smart way to break in to the industry. He told me it was about having ‘connections’ rather than relying on degree’s, which many young musicians are relying on. Connections are a way to gain access in to the media world, it’s not what you know it’s who you know.

Stanley said he believes you get your city behind you to support behind venturing out in to the big wide world of the media as your hometown will always be there for you, which is why they have only been performing in Coventry to date.


Urban Fresh also plans to get together a live band so when they play their gigs in the future they can have live music where the audience can feel the tunes straight from the set.

NOW!! All the formal stuff is done with, here’s the interview I did with the man himself!

Urban Fresh’s next performance is on the 13th March 2013 at the Belgrade theatre, this will without a doubt be something many music lovers will want to see.

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TV Package’s…

Doing journalism and media at university (as ive mentioned like 12782 times) we have to do regular tv packages about local news around Coventry. ITS SO FUN! Presenting is something I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE to do so these are the beginning of hopefully a long career in presenting! They are not perfect, and you know, for the purposes of me I will do a little tiny review after every video becsaue…well…why not 😀

ALSO, sorry for the bad quality, gonna fix that soon!

Heres a few ‘ive done int he recent months…

“Templars Primary School”

Reporter: Cassandra Nelson
Script: Cassandra Nelson
Filmer: Delissa Mullings, Cassandra Nelson
Sound Checks: Anam Butt, Iffat
Editor: Cassandra Nelson

NOW! We was given a lot of feedback on this video! (good and bad don’t cry about it) firstly, the interview chunks were very very very very very *10 years later* very long. This was because the head teacher did have loads of important information and she spoke in literally one breath! It was difficult to edit as i really didnt want to chop anything important out, even though they do say in journalism you have to be ruthless and chop everything…..

Also, when linking from interview to interview, cut away shots are great however we should have finished the sentence! Not left it hanging off a cliff!

If we had gotten parent permission we would have been able to film the children playing in the play ground or using colouring books or even in the assemble shouting “TEMPLARS!!”, it would have been a nice effect and made it more personal, however as we were on a very tight schedule this was not possible.

In terms of shots we were told that the shot with the head teacher was very good, however we needed to eliminate all of the back ground clutter so we JUST focused in on her! (makes sense)


“Money For Heat Campaign”

Reporter: Anam Butt
Script: Anam Butt
Filmer: Delissa Mullings, Cassandra Nelson
Sound Checks: Cassandra Nelson, Delissa Mullings
Editor: Cassandra Nelson

Again, we received millions of feedback from teachers on this. When editing we had to face so much hurdles it was unreal!For one, the mic didn’t work for nearly ALL of the VOX pops we filmed so we couldn’t use them, also the ones we did the mic made this very very very very loud buzzing sound so you couldn’t even hear what was being said *dies*…However, with help from the editing PROFESSIONAL in our uni Paul (we love Paul) I was able to eliminate most of the buzzing noise from the background. It did take away a lot of the sound quality which i was NOT VERY HAPPY ABOUT but hey, guess you win some you lose some! Being a perfectionist when it comes to my work this was not my favourite story because of the sound and some of the camera shots.

The VOX pops could have been better positioned, well-lit and less body in some of them, maybe a bit more head room too. The shot with the lady we interviewed would have been great but the camera was not focussed throughout! *sighhhhhhhhhhh*

Also, we were told to make this story seem more personal we should have gotten an interview in the home of an elderly person, with them turning on the heater or something like that to show how the cold affects them but we didn’t really feel like knocking on random elderly people s door and all of our relatives were no where in sight…So yeah…
The speech was good, however there was a part at the start (oo that rhymed) where i completely forgot to put the audio in so it was just SILENCE and a picture of a lamp…………………………………………….

If i was to do either of these videos again then I’d defiantly make sure the shots are perfect by creating more head room, taking in to consideration the lighting and stuff…

There’ll be more in the near future, hopefully of BBC standard (i wish)


WELL i fixed (one of the) problems i had with this video, for some straaaange reason though (that rhymed) the sound is DISGUSTING! Here is the first copy of this TV package, when the sound is fixed i’ll upload the new, improved version…Dont all clap at once…

“Police Campaign – REGISTER YOUR THINGS!”

Reporter: Cassandra Nelson
Script: Cassandra Nelson
Filmer: Lettita and Cassandra Nelson
Sound Checks: Iffat
Editor: Cassandra Nelson

As i said, the sound is AWFUL so that definitely needs improving. This was literally a very on the spot thing, no planning! Me and some friends were heading home and seen the police pitched up out side uni. Being journalists we decided to investigate and found out they were doing a campaign! We filmed on the spot and edited on the day. Lavely!

Improvements?? Maaaaybe have more footage of phones and the actual process, maaaaybe get the opinions of the campaign from passers by or people using the service…do some VOX pops and maaaaybe we could have given more information as to what website to go to, how to find out more and where the police were heading next.

Categories: 235MC, News Stories | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments

Comedy Sketches…

Well hey y’all! Happy new year!!…………………One month later woo!

As some of you may know I was working with a good friend of mine David Micheal creating videos (Woah-Man!) that gave people advice on everyday situations. Thats been put on hold for now to make way for THIS!!………..

COMEDY SKETCHES!! *ba dum dum tishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Every week or so we’ll be releasing short, 2-3minute comedy sketches for the world to enjoy! SO…heres the first one that I have personally starred in *waits for appluase*…………..*gets tired waiting*

With me doing Journalism and Media at university and leaving the acting world behind me it was GOOD to actually play a real ROLE again! It did take some time to get back in to the swing of things but you know, it felt good to be doing something I LOVE again…………Not that I dont love journalism, but acting is my 1st love…

Anywho, enjoy! 😀

“Romantic Speeches Or Just Moist Conversation?”

Like that?? Well then you’ll probably not love this…the bloopers, because everybody makes mistakes…

Watch out for more in the very near future!!

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Work experience helped my in more ways than one, not only did it develop transferable skills but it helped me know where to go next with my career.

I learnt many skills, such as editing, using ESPN and how to produce a show. I also boosted my communication skills and found ways of talking to new people to get the best information out of them.

This experience helped in my career path as I now know that I have to go out and do things for my self, create my own opportunities as these ones are very rare, if I work by myself then my independent way of thinking will increase and it will be easier to get a job. It also helped with my career as it narrowed down where I want to go, this was a fantastic placement however I now know my heart lies with television. The skills I learnt here however can most definitely be transferred to television.

To progress, I am going to write to production companies and see if I can go and shadow some of their producers, just to get a feel for television. As I have learnt contacts are crucial so I emailed some of the people from BBC Midlands today and asked if I could come down there for a day, which they agreed to! I will continue to write to them and build contacts all over so that in the future when I am ready to find work they can point me in the right direction/

The things I should’ve improved on in this work placement was the amount of questions asked, some of the times I would have nothing to do so I should’ve created my own opportunities rather than wait around. Also, let them know that I was more than capable of doing more, I think I should’ve outlined the skills I had obtained from university so that they knew how useful I couldve been.

I think I worked well in a team, any role given I did to the best of my ability as every little helps in this environment. If I was to be here again though I maybe would have got to know certain teams better so that we worked easier together. Getting along with the team or even knowing them well helps as it makes the work easier, you feel comfortable asking questions and sharing ideas, which I didn’t always do.

As a result of this module I think my professionalism skills have progressed, also, my communication/people skills as well as editing, research and team work abilities. Over the time at the BBC I learnt how to interact with people easily, which will help in the near future as in this industry making contacts and interacting is crucial. This module has also helped my motivational abilities and ways to find work experience.

Overall, this placement helped in many ways, it has provided me with skills and knowledge about the newsroom and I now know where I want to go in life. It has also taught me to do things for myself and not wait for someone else to give you work, create your own opportunities.

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Unemployment in Coventry

People in Coventry and Warwickshire are finding more work as unemployment figures drop yet again.

Latest figures from the Office for National Statistics shows how Coventry and Warwickshire have a jobless total of under 10,000, proving the cuts to jobs across England may not be effecting this region.

In Coventry there was a fall of 179 during October alone and 129 in Warwickshire, The Coventry Telegraph spoke to Louise Bennett, Chief Executive of the Coventry and Warwickshire Chamber of Commerce recently and she said: “In Coventry, the figure jumped above 10,000 earlier in the year so to see it getting closer to the 9,000 mark is encouraging.

“In Warwickshire, again, the figure is falling and we hope to see this trend continuing into the New Year.

“When you consider the depth and the length of the recession, many would have expected overall unemployment to have risen further. Having said that, the numbers are still much higher than anyone would like and behind each statistic is a real person.”

But speaking to the people of Coventry finding work still proves difficult.

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Last 2 Weeks At The BBC…

As the title gives away, this is about my last two weeks at BBC Coventry and Warwickshire.


Day 1
Today I was integrated on the Annie Other production team, one I was familiar with from the first week. The first hour was finalising idea’s for the 9am show, which Anna said is always done on the day as things could change over night, which makes sense.

At 9am we sat and produced Annie show, again, I developed many of the skills obtained over the past few weeks and had unanswered questions answered. Anna was at a loss for something to talk about at 11:45am, she asked me to try to find a story that would fit in with the show, bearing in mind its early morning and they wanted to end the show on a light-hearted note. I found a story about a study showing over 60% of parents tell their children little white lies to make them perform certain tasks, for example, carrots make you see in the dark or broccoli is little tree’s. I suggested this to Anna and she loved it! We rang up a friend of the show, a psychologist who agreed to come down to the studio to give an interview, which was great!

After the show was finished at 12pm, and we had lunch, we returned and drafted up some ideas for tomorrows show. She asked me and another temp, Matt Jones to do some research for the show, however she warned us that most of tomorrow would be talking about the Women Bishops debate and the outcome.

Day 2
As predicted, todays show revolved around the vote for Women Bishop outcome, which was declined. Annie had her full production team back today so we all frantically sat and worked on finding guests to come on that morning, ones who were for and against the vote. I passed on some contacts that I had made from the previous week when looking for the breakfast show, some of which were used. In the end we found three woman who were against the vote and a man who was for. This was a fiery debate, with the show being very entertaining.

After the show Anna asked me to do a VOX pop for her, finding out what people though the phrase ‘GWI’ meant…I got some very good weird, silly suggestions that made a nice fun VOX.

After editing it all together I was asked to do some more research on shows for the future. I found some that would fit in with the show nicely, for example, a woman who says she allergic to electricity. Anna and the team all made notes in the meeting and seemed very impressed!

Day 3

Today in the morning meeting the team decided to cover the Women Bishop story slightly today as we had received so many emails about it over night. Yesterdays debate got people wanting to express their own opinion, which taught me the importance of having multiple strong opinions within a story.

Anna asked me to go through the messages and pick out ones that stood out, which I did, this gave me a chance to see how varied opinions from the public were.

At 9am I again watched the show go out, developing technical skills I wasnt too sure on. After this, we began preparing for tomorrows show. Anna asked me to research about new and wacky gadgets people had been buying, which I did. This boosted my research skills. She then asked me to write a cue as we could use this story for tomorrow, with her guidance and advice I wrote a catchy cue, one were I was thinking about language and wording.

By the end of the day, as there was now a full team of people working on Annie’s show, there was not much for me to do, so I began to do independently research for guests that could accompany the gadget feature.

Day 4

Yesterday there was of ideas floating about what to cover today so in this mornings meeting we discussed whether we should touch on the Womens Bishop story. We decided not to as that was not ‘new’ news anymore and many listeners would not want to hear about it three days in a row, which was understandable. In these meeting’s I can observe/intricate as part of the team, bouncing ideas off one another and learning ways to work well with new people. I have learnt it is good to tell others your ideas as they can add to it with a fresh angle.

After watching the show go out Anna asked me to collect a VOX for the gadget story, which did not run today as we found another story that fit better with the show. I went out and collected many voices as possible and came back to edit them all together quite quickly. Collecting VOX’s helps me with my communication skills as I have to talk to new people on a daily basis, instantly building a rapport.

When I had finished this I gave Anna my guest for this sector of the show. She was extremely pleased that I used my initiative and asked me to phone him and confirm if he could appear on the show, wich he could.

I think working off of my own initiative is the best way to work, as the producer are so busy they maybe don’t have time to cover all areas which I was there to help with.

Day 5

Today they ran my gadget story and used the guest/VOX. The guest was extremely talkative and had a lot of insight in to new gadgets which was great as it made for interesting listening.

As this was a Friday after the show went out the team sat and discussed what news may be covered over the weekend, Anna asked me to research any events that may be in the news so they had a kind of idea.

After this, I was free to go as there was not much to do! However, I decided to stay and talk to Rosie about production and how to get in to it.

This week has taught me the importance of human interest stories, which kind of stories the listener can connect to and the technical side to production.

NOW…THIS is where everything went downhill! At this point in my placement my and my family all conveniently came down with a bad case of the mumps! The doctor said I could not leave my house in case I spread it around. I was DEVASTATED! However, after calling up Lucy Winch she kindly said they’d be delighted if I could complete my last week at a later date, which was extremely kind of them!

SO, here is the final week…

WEEK 4 (Technically week 5 but hey)

Day 1
Today I was put on to Rosie’s show, she expressed how happy she was to have me back on the team. After being off for a week I was cautious going back but eager at the same time. We had a morning meeting with Moira and she immediately asked me to work on a healthcare story as a local hospital was coming under fire for its poor treatment od patients. Rosie asked me to gather a list of local Patient Groups in the area, many were willing to talk so I passed the contacts on to Rosie. She then asked me to research the story and write a cue for it.

After this, there was nothing more for me to work on as the show was properly prepared! Kevin Reid, the man from Midlands Today, invited to out with him to do some TV work.

He reports for BBC Midlands today but he works at BBC Coventry and Warwickshire newsroom, filming, editing and writing during the day and sending it over to BBC Midlands for 6pm. We went out with a camera and mic, he told me to ask the questions whilst he filmed. Kevin gave me loads of tips, for example, when the person is standing on the left of the screen then must talk to the right, our position was crucial. We had to keep switching sides as th said it makes more interesting TV when the person appears on opposite sides of the camera. He also said to get in to people’s faces, be very assertive and don’t ask people is you can ask them a question, ask them regardless! I wanted to impress Kevin and I got some really good answers, many of which he used on the TV package.

When we returned to the newsroom he said I could sit and watch him edit it all together, giving me tips and advice along the way. As we were making TV packages at University at the time it was extremely useful to get an inside view on how they are done. He didn’t use too many images, making sure they were relevant. The lighting was perfect and the story made sense.

By the end of today I felt very accomplished, making sure I did the best in everything I did.

Day 2

As I learnt a lot with Kevin Reid yesterday I volunteered to go and help him again today, as there was not anything for me to do in the newsroom.

We went out and got people’s opinions about job cuts and how they affected the people of the city. I took in all the advice he had given me yesterday and made sure I got as many good VOX’s as possible, which he seemed pleased with.

After this we returned to the newsroom and I was asked by Rosie to go and get an audio VOX for her on the same issue.

After doing the television one I compared this to the radio one and came to the conclusion that I like television more. This placement has helped me narrow down my thoughts and indecisive nature when it came to picking a career path.

I edited all the audio together and sent it to Rosie and she seemed pleased, after I sat with Kevin again and watched him edit, picking up skills along the way.

Day 3

As I had not worked on Vic’s show much, and Simon produced it alone I asked if I could shadow him for a day, which I did. This helped me as to see the amount of work he has to do encouraged me to do the same. I asked him questions about how to got this job and if he likes producing it alone.

I feel today was the last day to really get involved with the technical sides of things, it helped as in the future I can take these skills elsewhere and grasp software quicker.

Day 4
This was my second from last day, I was asked to prepare for tomorrows 6am Shane O’Connor breakfast show with Alec. As this show usually has a full team of people working for it, its difficult for them to find anything for me to do! However, Rosie stepped in and gave me some tasks.

Firstly, I had to ‘bid’ for a Lord Digby Jones interview. Bidding is when a person will be giving multiple interviews to multiple BBC stations across England in one day, it was our job to secure the time slot we needed. I was asked to this, and Rosie was very happy when I did! It was a lot of pressure as he was an important guest that they needed for that show.

When speaking with the lady on the phone she asked if I wanted her to take Lord Digby Jones to the Milbank studio so they could use the high quality ISND lines, (much better than a phone line) for the interview. I said yes and promptly booked a studio at Milbank for his arrival. I told Rosie and she seemed over joyed!

Rupert, the stations executive producer, then asked me to find a guest for the show. This again, felt like a lot of pressure as he was one of the top people in the newsroom. The story he wanted it for was a sensitive one, one about child abuse. I rang a company he suggested and they said that they will definitely give me someone, but to call back later today or they would call us. Rupert seemed pleased.

By the end of the day I was doing some light research for tomorrows show. Rosie then invited me to watch her produce Phil Upton’s show, which she does by herself. I sat with her for an hour and a half whilst she worked, one of the only shows I had not seen! It was much more new based, no music to fill the gaps. This made her job more difficult. I again seen how timing was crucial, how she had to get the guests ready on time and in order.

Today I again learned a lot of technical skills, as well as research.

Day 5
Today was my official last day of the placement and I had to be in for 6am to see the breakfast show go out! Shane O’Connor, she presenter, offered me to go in and sit with him whilst he was presenting, which was great! I got to see things from his side, which was completely different to the producers. He explained all the different buttons, some of which I remembered from working with Marcus a few weeks earlier. He refered to me on his show and it made me feel a part of the team.

After that all the breakfast team went out for lunch, after we returned I was invited to sit in the meeting room, one I’d never formally been in to. They all discussed the show, good points and bad points and went over ideas for the following day.

I spoke to a girl called Andrea Howard she had just graduated from Coventry University doing Journalism and Media. She told he her story and how she got to become a producer at such a young age! Like me, she started from work experience, they then asked her to come back and trained her up more. She then got a full-time job, which was amazing!

After out chat she asked me to put the days show in to the archives, which I did. We then had another meeting whereby we discussed more ideas for the up coming show.

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The Scottish Independence…

The Scottish Independence

Scotland announces a referendum vote in 2014 on whether or not they get independence from the United Kingdom with a single ‘Yes’ no ‘No’ vote.

The current Scottish government have expressed their intentions recently to hold the referendum in autumn 2014 following a lengthy battle for independence. The referendum was supposed to be held in 2010 however they failed in gaining support from other parties and have now confirmed that this time the referendum will go ahead after the signing of the agreement by Alex Salmond and David Cameron.

From the 19th century Scotland have expressed reasons to become independent, following the discovery of the North Sea oil and the want for self-governing decision making, they have worked at trying to gain independent status through votes in parliament and the creation of the Home Rule.

The McCrone report, published in 1979 by leading government economist Gavin McCrone, stated that the discovery if the oil would give an independent Scotland one of the strongest currencies in Europe, making the fight for independence more fierce than ever before.
However none of these methods have worked leaving the Scottish parliament wanting to find a way to settle the feud with a referendum vote.

David Cameron has expressed his views on The Scottish Independence campaign and labelled it as “falling apart”. He said the differences need to be put to rest “for the good of Scotland and the good of the United Kingdom” after signing a deal with Alex Salmond ensuring the vote will happen in 2014.

Some arguments for Scottish impedance are as follows:

• Scotland has its own parliament, its own laws and legal system them in many aspects already independent in terms of freedom, officially granting sole independence is taking the next step.

• Fiscal powers and economic control remain at Westminster meaning decisions, such as having nuclear weapons in their seas is out of their hands. Independence will allow Scotland to cut business taxes to promote economic growth.

• Independence would give Scotland a seat at the UN and in the EU Council of Ministers. Scottish interests such as fisheries and agriculture are not a priority in British parliament and are poorly served in Brussels by UK ministries. Independence would give them freedom to expand on their issues and correct them.

However, some arguments against are as follows:

• The Union has served both countries well for 300 years and devolution is not a very old concept making it difficult to judge if it will be positive or negative.

• There is a gap between public spending in Scotland (£40bn) and revenue raised there (£27bn). A Scottish government would have to choose between higher taxes and cuts in public services.

• Scotland has more influence in Brussels as part of the UK than it could have as an independent state, without the partnership with the UK they have a less chance of being heard.

• The integrated British economy is more capable than an independent Scotland would be of meeting the challenges of globalization. Globalization is a challenge that an independent Scotland could not face. The British economy is far more developed and mature to handle this process.

As the arguments for and against Scottish Independence continue to grow, it’s left to the public to make up their own minds on the matter until autumn 2014 when the official vote will take place.

My opinion is that Scotland should be given independence and left to develop as their own country without the influences of Britain. It’s clear to see that Britain may be relying on Scotland for the recent discovery of oil and as they have been a part of the United Nations for over 300 years. Britain would financially struggle, more than they currently are, without the input of Scotland however I feel both countries should be left to their own devices and develop as them instead of being reliant on a partnership.

But what do you think?

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40p A Week Tax Rise…

Coventry households could be slammed with an extra 20% tax rise as a new scheme proposed to help with the £61billion budget cut.

The proposed scheme – which would see average households paying an extra 40p a week – is said to help with the £61billion pound budget cut for Coventry City

Council who say they plan to save the money over the next three years.
The council have not revealed any official plans as they say it’s too early however the 40p a week would be an equivalent to £20 a year, which many citizens of Coventry has expressed their opinions on. Listen here for the public’s opinions

The council are also preparing for more cuts to be revealed by Chancellor George Osbourne in Wednesdays Autumn Statement.
The Coventry Observer spoke to Deputy leader Coun George Duggins who said: “We need people to understand the full horror and the scale of austerity,” he said.

“The government chose – rather than needed – to do this by making welfare cuts instead of tax increases.

“It’s clear our Christmas present will be a significant cut in its grant funding to us, and I’m very worried about the impact this will have on the most vulnerable people in our city.

“We’re now looking at making some very painful decisions about our services and losing more posts at the council than we originally anticipated.”

The revelation’s come as a blow to the citizens of Coventry who are also facing job cuts and privatisation moves of health care and public libraries.

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Can Boys and Girls Be Best Friends??

Okay had to update as I forgot to say…The following post wont apply to everyone as some people are grown and mature enough to have best friends of the opposite gender and not feel no way…HOWEVER, some people are not…This is for you! ALSO, I’m not talking about a normal friendship, I’m talking about a close friendship, a BEST friend…

WELL GUYS, I’ve done a post on friendship before but I thought I’d do this one as…well…It’s a question people ALWAYS ask! And one that people have a lot of opinions on! Im going to give a few view points that MAY be true, they may not be…

Before I begin, do you have a best friend of the opposite sex that you’re in denial with? Are YOU the best friend who is getting mixed signals off of your ‘best friend’? Well, read this post and I can guarantee it wont change nothing as this world is not honest with ourselves! That’s the problem! We need to sit there and be HONEST! Answer these three questions HONESTLY and you’ll soon know the truth about you’re friendship…

1.How Did You Become Best Friends?

Baaaaaaaaascially, this is a very important part in any relationship! How did you two ACTUALLY become best friends? See if the story starts off with “well, one day I was in town and he asked me for my number…” then I don’t want to hear no more, close the door.

How how how can you build a genuine friendship off of physical attraction? Physical attraction is what people use to judge if they want to be in a relationship not a FRIENDSHIP. Do you say to a friend of the same gender “oh, sorry,you got ugly…we cant be best friend’s…hoe”…NO!

Let me get technical…

*specs on*

Physical attraction is what draws you to a person isn’t it? Therefore it’s usually it’s a ahem…sexual thing. The sexual part of your brain is what tells you what’s attractive and what’s not.

Let’s get back to the point, if you started a friendship off of you being attracted to them physically then I can guarantee unless this sexual urge inside of you is filled by them then this physical, sexual attraction is going to be there for as long as you two are friends *PHEW*

This urge will therefore determine most of the things you say to them, do with them or act around them because the urge wants to be more than friends and you will be forever trying to…what’s the word…impress them, show them you’re perfect…(That was more than one word but hey)

Now, I’m not saying you can’t find your best friends of the opposite gender nice looking, (it’s not their fault if they are) but if that’s how you two actually BECAME friends then it’s a whole different story chuck!

This isn’t true for ALL friendships though, some people are attracted to someone, will talk to them off of that basis and then decide they don’t actually like them in that way…HOWEVER, many friendships ARE like this as the person never really did decide if they liked them or not, they just continued to find them attractive and talk to them, then they became ‘best friends’…

2.What Do You Two Talk About?

Can you have a regular conversation with them? Do you secretly flirt with them? All good, good questions…

This is where it gets very tricky because when it comes to flirting people will play dumb. They will act like they don’t flirt with whoever they are supposedly flirting with. OR sometimes the other person gets the wrong idea, they mistake friendly-ness for flirting and that’s just silly.

Basically, here’s a test…Talk to a best friend that’s the same gender as you, then talk to a best friend who isn’t  See a difference? Yes? Well…what’s the difference…I can’t answer that question for you personally but I can give you some suggestions…

Are you slightly flirtatious with the best friend of the opposite gender? If not then that’s great! Now, this is where HONESTY comes in! We all know if we say a certain thing to someone it can be taken in ways where that person will think ‘are they flirting with me?’…

FOR EXAMPLE: “ha ha haaa you’re funny why are you single??” See this line, it makes the person think you’ve been thinking about them in a relationship.

Even little lines like “I love you” or “I miss you” can be taken that way! Again, do you say these things to your best friends of the same gender? Do you tell them you miss them with a “:(”…If you do then cool but if you don’t then you know saying it to someone of the opposite gender is going to make them think stuff. Relationship stuff.

You also need to identify if someones doing these things to you, they could be trying to make you think these things…

Anywho, so yes. What do you talk about? How do you talk to them? Can you just have a regular genuine conversation without ANY kind of flirting whatsoever? Whether it is on your part of theirs? CAN YOU?? NO?? WELL SURPRISE SURPRISE!!

3.Why Are They Your Best Friend?

This is a tricky kinda question but it’s a valid one. Why is this person your best friend? I’ve seen girls before have different ‘best boy friends’ every year, simple because these fake best friends are very easy to replace.

ANYONE can fill that slot, all you need is some attraction, some minor flirting during a long conversation and a mutual understanding that something COULD happen one day (even though none of you would ever admit it) And BAM you got yo’self a “best friend”!

Having a close friendship with someone is actually like being in a relationship, you need things in common, you need to see each other, you both need to put in effort and, most importantly, you need to know what this person brings to your life! A good, best friend cannot be replaced, whether this best friend is of the same gender or not. So why do you have a different ‘best boy/girl friend’ each year?

Have you ever had a really good ‘friendship’ with someone and then all of a sudden you stopped talking? Well this is why, you either stopped finding them attractive, got bored of secretly flirting and realized there was no friendship there in the first place or YOU GOT REPLACED! R to the E to the P to the L to the ACED!

So, to sum up this very long post, I will end with this…one, I’m hungry and two we need to start seeing things for what they really are! True, sometimes we need close friends of the opposite gender and that’s fine if they are genuine. Sometimes the two people in the friendship are extremely mature so this wont apply to you and you’ve wasted about 6.9 minutes of your life reading this, I’m sorry!

Honesty with ourselves is how we make the conclusion of which best friends are there because they are real best FRIENDS and which ones are there because you both have a mutual, unspoken agreement that something could happen and there is a physical attraction between you.

Disagree with anything I’ve said? Want to have your say on my say? Then please send £100.98 to my home address and I’ll get back to you shortly!

OR, just write a comment below. 🙂

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